“Sometimes it’s hard to look love square in the eye and accept the acceptance.”
A line from Ann Voskamp’s blog post I read this morning.
The line jumped out at me, stopped me, confronted me. Made me cry in recognition.
I am well-acquainted with that eye-sliding discomfort.
I’ve come a long way, God has brought me a long way. But it can still be hard to believe that I am loved unconditionally… to see it in front of me when I don’t want to believe it… to accept acceptance when I feel it’s undeserved because I mess up… to believe that my next failure won’t bring a turning away… that there are people, my husband and friends, who find me worth loving and accept me despite me, who wait when I pull away.
The next line:
“Is this why we turn from God?”
It starts with understanding who God is, and who I am in Christ. I have received more patient grace than I deserve, from my heavenly Father and from my loved ones. And I need to be better at giving it. I don’t want my kids to ever feel that I think they are a failure, to confuse discipline with rejection, to feel like they don’t measure up to my expectations. My words, and my tone, must be sweeter. I want my home to be a place of peace and comfort for all who live or visit here.
Recently I was talking with Jeff about how I just don’t understand unconditional love. It’s a sad admission. But I don’t think it’s uncommon. Unconditional love is not a common thing in this world.
If I want to express unconditional love to my children, husband, and others, I first have to believe that it is a real, possible thing.
For God so loved the world…
What I am beyond grateful for this morning is my husband’s unconditional love. I don’t make it easy.
What I am beyond grateful for this morning is my Father’s unconditional love… Amazing Grace.